Dealing With Stressful Situations

After identifying the triggers, people should able to recognise what they can and cannot control or change, she adds.

For example, if the problem is confidence at work, pinpoint the specific issue, Rodenbeck says. She says one client realised his stress was rooted in his poor communication skills and he solved the problem by taking a course on presentation skills.

The same can be said for personal issues. For example, if the stressor is a relationship with a significant other, leaving the relationship is one of several ways of dealing with the problem, she says.

Some stressors may be produced from within.

Some people may demand a lot from themselves because of very high standards, according to Sebastian Droesler, Hong Kong-based counselling psychologist, executive coach and mindfulness trainer at Counselling Hong Kong, which he founded.

“You need to raise awareness,” he says. “[When] you identify what’s going on… you have this ‘aah’ effect –‘aah, all right, I’ve been doing that for years’.”

When faced with a stressful situation, many people tend to go through a “fight-or-flight” response, which is a basic survival response that the body takes to defend itself, according to Ignition’s Rodenbeck. “Either you fight for your life, you defend yourself, or you avoid [the issue]… you take flight, you take off.”

Such a person in that situation may become angry, may do or say things that they may regret later, she notes.

During a fight-or-flight response, the body’s stress hormones, particularly adrenalin and cortisol, are produced to help people survive a specific situation, according to Rodenbeck.

“And then we go back to normal [because] that specific situation was supposed to go away because life is supposed to go back to normal,” she says.

It only becomes a problem when people stay in the fight-or-flight state for too long, Rodenbeck says, adding that too much adrenalin and cortisol in the body may lead to problems such as high anxiety, depression, digestive problems, feeling bloated, sleeping problems, heart disease, weight gain, memory or concentration problems and others.

In those cases, people should take action right away, she says. “If you wait, that’s when you spiral down, and that’s when you can reach burnout, and to get out of a burnout situation is very difficult.”

Ignition’s Rodenbeck and Counselling Hong Kong’s Droesler offer some techniques to de-stress or relax:

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice that is based on meditation and is becoming “huge” in the corporate world, according to Rodenbeck.

“It’s a meditation technique where you learn to be present, where you learn to be focused,” she says. “You’re able to observe your emotions and not engage with them. It’s very powerful.”

Mindfulness helps people in the short and long term, according to Counselling Hong Kong’s Droesler.

Short-term, people get to learn to calm their minds and relax, just like how a snow-globe becomes clearer as the snowflakes slowly fall down and rest. Long-term, it’s like going to the gym; it strengthens the whole mind and body, he adds.

2. Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy , which is the use of essential oils and is 100% natural, helps people calm down, relax and have a good night’s sleep, according to Ignition’s Rodenbeck.

3. Bach flower remedies

Bach flower remedies are natural flower-based remedies in liquid form that have been around for more than 80 years and are “excellent” in being an emotional support that people can have, according to Rodenbeck. A few drops of these remedies are added into drinking water, she adds.

One example of a Bach flower remedy is the “rescue remedy” for people in a highly emotional state, she says, noting that it is like an “emergency remedy”.

4. Breathing exercises

When people are tense and go through a stressful situation, they tend to breathe shallowly, which makes them hold more carbon dioxide in the body, which is a toxin, Rodenbeck says.

Breathing deeply helps remove the toxins and helps calm the person, she adds.

5. Labelling technique

The labelling technique involves creating an “emotional vocabulary” or giving your feelings “a name”, according to Rodenbeck. For example, it is better to say exactly how one is feeling, such as “I felt very frustrated”, “I felt too anxious I couldn’t breathe”, and others, instead of just saying “I’m stressed”.

The technique also helps people identify their stressors, she adds.

6. Do not suppress your emotions

Rodenbeck says that it is important to release emotions. It is helpful to share one’s emotions out to a friend or write them down in a journal, she notes.

7. Other de-stressing techniques

include having a warm bath, changing out of work clothes as soon as getting home because work clothes are a huge reminder of work, listening to music, taking a walk outside the office and having a massage, according to Rodenbeck.

Being with a loved one, who is able to provide support during stressful moments, is very helpful, she says.

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